i’ve been living in fear the past few weeks. of losing everything i worked my ass off for. i worked so freaking hard for my happiness, for my sanity. now i feel like i’m losing everything. i feel like im slipping away into that land which i had worked so hard to get away from.
i do like msn sometimes. i can be cheering ppl up on one end while tearing on this end.
yes i’m fearful. i’ve been consciously trying very very hard to keep out of it. but it isn’t easy. it never was. and it never will be. these days i feel i’m losing the grip, the firm hold i have on my sanity. if there’s an easy way out, i want to take it. an easy way out of this messed up mind i have. bt of cos, not by taking my life.
i told a friend who was emo-ing, that i feel better when i think abt the things i’m grateful for. i do, really. but these days it just dont seem to work. haha. hope im not losing it. cos i sure worked dam*Ed hard to get where i am today and i’m not talking about grades or school or work or pay or whatsoever “materialistic” stuffs yea.
i noe i can do it. i just need a bit more strength. i guess. and more time perhaps would do fine too.
我的存在，是拿来践踏的吗？
