doodles

you know, it’s weird thinking about things sometimes. like, do you realise that people normally only believe in what they choose to believe in? even though sometimes the logic and reasoning is clear, and the evidence shows otherwise, they still believe in the “nicer” side of things, or whichever side that provides the person with a more “believable” version, or one that will enable them to better accept the truth.

and, humans often dream about things that are forbidden. forbidden by society, forbidden by protocol etc. forbidden things are so much more filled with excitement, and the unknown, and … full of exploration space! like, what if this, what if that … haha.

anyways. rain + long bus ride + being alone = lethal combination for me to start thinking about random things. oh and remember to add in mp3 ! haha. yes. time to get to work

one down, 5 to go! hahahaha. most pressing as of now:

104
132
104 grp!!!

i’m always glad to have friends. i mean, yes. i’m glad to have friends. whenever i doubt myself, friends are always the people there who are around for me. weinii’s there too. but, guys can never replace girls sometimes. =)) thats why there are always two genders. =)) isnt that so? anyways i’m bio-ing new phone haha. lemme see whether i can get the pics…

haha! but the keys like abit the small hor? nvm lah. anyways im so hungry. haven eaten anything since about 7pm last night . dots. hungry!!! gotta bath n get ready for stupid sch. -.-

most pressing:

1) 132
2) 104 portfolio
3) 104 group work
4) 201 – GESL

most pressing in one week:
1) 103
2) 101

no time no time no time! jia you-ded!!!!!

i’m suddenly sad. suddenly feel so alone, feel so left out.

i’m suddenly stressed. suddenly feel like there’s so much to do with so little time to spare.

i’m suddenly sad again. what did i do to my life? -sigh-

was everything i did worth it? was all the effort that i put in worth the while? was making the decisions i made the right decisions to make?

it always seems too early to think about the future, but everytime you think about the future, the future is already here. i want my life back.

i have half decided to switch from writing novel to writing a script. urmz. the only problem is, there is much lesser references to learn script-writing from since there are NOT a lot of scripts around. ARGH. 1 week to go!!!!!! oh, plus 104 portfolio -.- … anyways yes. lets get to work baby! lets get to work! will be going amk lib tml morning (probably). reaching by … 1030? anyone wanna join me? lol. recess week!! (but i still gotta go to school -.-)

i have finally got one thing down – almost. haha. now the more pressing issues are my portfolio and my 132!!!!!!!!! freaking out. now, lets take things one at a time (i realise i work better when i’m feeling comfortable – without stuff that clogs up my chest i think i like going without my bra. hmm anyways yes and of course in an air-con room!!! on my laptop with my internet on and music too – sometimes) next on my agenda: portfolio!!! at least one software should be down by tonight. and another one hopefully tomorrow. then i can totally concentrate on my 132 for now. of course her exists the stupid 104 group work. ARGH.

yay! swam today!! lol. im happy but im sad too. im happy cos i swam but im sad cos i dont feel the exercise. i like feeling sore and tired in places where i exercised can? if not i dont feel the oomph. maybe im just saddistic lar. anyways. i did:

i) about 8 laps pulling, 2 laps (or so) sprint pulling
ii) about 6 laps side kick (4 laps of 10kick one pull, 2 laps 20kick one pull)
iii) 2 laps super slow swim
iv) 4 – 6 laps leisure swim

urm approximately lar. i dont really rmb. its prolly less lol. hahaha. but i onli swam about 1 hr lah. my back got black circle now. tdy’s weather was pure madness lar!!

anyways i just posted my 104 forum stuff. now ive gotta think about the portfolio, my research proposal, my 132 and what to do about 104 group work. -.-”lets start with research proposal.

was just listening to zai yi ci yong you … and listening closely to the lyrics … suddenly felt quite the a bit the sad . sighx. the most heartbreaking thing for a female is to ask : can i have one last hug / kiss / one last look … and get rejected. just asking that question alone hurts enough. sigh . at least i dont hafta worry about that now =D sleep~~

yay! tomorrow going to swim again!! haha. i finally feel as though my muscles are coming back!! woohoo~! me like swimming . n i esp. like to do my pull training budden *ahem* its the only way to get back my arm muscles (which are basically flapping in the wind now) the only downside is that my arms gonna get bulkier … -.- id rather they be firm, thank you. and yes. im finally on track to training again. need some serious training man!!

anw, ive got my new fan! looks like an antique … LOOKS! quite strong only i dont really think it reaches my bed from there …

cute?? lol. i kinda think it looks quite cute. but anyways, yes. now i dont hafta switch on my air-con all night (tho i think i prolly will still do so) hurhurhur. sometimes i just sit and think: i wish i was as skinny as i was in sec. sch … lol. den i think : im not doing anything towards that goal. hahahaha. so yes now im starting. cutting down on food and doing more exercise!! i sure dont wanna get diabetes since i am lie, 400% more likely than others. super high-risk range HAHA. yes. exercise babe! exercise! i sound so bimbotic and bitchy can? but nvm. at least i dont go about swooning about guys and sitting on my arse not doing anything conducive. brrrr.

me, dad, and dad’s friend was sitting in IMM multi-storey carpark trying to find out where the sensor was. they have this light thing above the parking lots. occupied lots haf red lights, free lots green lights. so we were just standing along the length / breadth of the lots trying to figure out what will trigger the sensor / where the sensor was lol. kinda dumb right? HAHA. but yes we found out in the end … =)) and we saw this guy who works at my school library’s cafe.

still stuck at 1750 words. ARGH!!! oh and i just realised that i am seriously running out of time for my 104. OMG!!! rush rush rush!! luckily recess week is next week! and 104 group work, and more importantly 101 research proposal!!!

still trying to write my novel … ive got no choice! got to get it done! in two weeks. and i have language barriers – i am writing chinese in english sentence structures and i’m still thinking in eng. lit format!!! got to brush up on my chinese!!! i need a crash course in chinese!!!! i mean it. and i still have to prepare presentation for research paper proposal and my 104 portfolio!! my portfolio!!!!! omg! lesson idea and technicality. i am SO dead. okay. no more mahjong. lets start working.

bro got me a pair of jeans today! i mean, it was his girlfriend’s! like she used to be slim lar. now shes fatter than me. -.-” *of course when i was skinny i was 2 inches off her waist* dots. i really should start getting back in shape. brrrr. nth much to blog about today. especially since ive got so much work to do.

and please dont get me started on GESL. i will whine and scream and shout and curse and swear. i swear. urgh! she just pisses me off endlessly!! they, i mean. a few of them – a couple of them. DO YOUR WORK LAR BLARDIE HELL. i shld’ve just gone to GESL committee. dots. which reminds me i need to make a stupid call and send some blardie emails.