doodles

i don’t understand why people think that we’re not academically inclined or anything just becos we’re in NIE. i see no reason and basis for that kind of thought. it’s not right. i don’t learn anything less just becos i’m in NIE. if anything, i think i am learning more. not only do we learn the theoretical aspects, we oso have to think about the practical usage and the functionality of the subject. people who think that NIE is a dumping ground should change all their minds and start accepting that just becos we’re in NIE doesn’t mean we’re dumb or stupid or just cannot make it.

In fact I think that there are so many intelligent people here. people who realy know what they want. and know how to achieve it. it’s not fair to think that way. it’s not fair to us. and anyways, we’re the ones who’re gonna teach the children so if people are gonna think that we’re stupid and dumb and CMI and thats the only reason why we’re in NIE instead of other universities for our studies, then i just haf to say that it’s the future of your children at stake.

singaporeans haf to wake up to the fact that it’s not all just about branding. especially not education.

i’m utterly disappointed in the fact that singaporeans are so ignorant. really. so ignorant and yet they think they’re so smart and get so arrogant. on no basis at all. someone should knock some sense into their heads. airheads.

after reading xy’s blog, i’m so glad that i dont haf such irritating people in my class. but anyways my core modules classes is so small haha. no one can be too irritating tho some crossovers are really getting on my nerves. grrrrrrr to them. and anyways, the other modules are fun! other than all the presentation and everything which are giving me a lot of stress!!!!! argh. anyone knows of any libraries with educational psychology reference books PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!! desperate. left my ed-psy books in my locker~~ how stupid can i get?

and anyways i just installed super mario haha. i feel like such a kid, but nevermind cos being a kid is fun! and i get to like elmo all i want. =)) i love elmo. =)) im starting to like school. and i like phonology lessons i think phonology is fun. but i dislike the lit. lessons. argh. yay phonology boo lit! haha. i’m going bonkers actually. help! – *NOT* – argh. i’m dying under the load!!!

haha. i’m updating my blog in school! on my friend’s new laptop. haha. aiya nothing to do anyways. today no aed102 meeting ma. and tomorrow already presentation day for AED105. sigh~ sianded. i’m so tired. i think i wanna sleep le.. sianded. hmmmmmmm since tomorrow oso no tuts to finish i tink imma slack today. haha! im bored.

i’m officially depressed. i can’t believe its happening to ME. i’m only 19.
ive seen how they suffered. i dont wanna suffer they same way they did. i miss grandma. maybe she’d know what i should do. i’m scared. really scared. i feel as though i’ve been passed a death sentence. but we all get passed death sentences on the day we are born. but its just like everyone gets hanging and i get the electric chair. will things be any diff from grandma? she wasnt suffering much at that point in time. i dont wanna suffer the way she would be suffering if she didnt do what she had to do at that time. life’s a vicious cycle huh. i’m supposed to keep a strict diet but im so depressed and wen im depressed i binge and when i binge i lose track of wat im supposed to do. what i’m supposed to be keeping to.

is this like the lowest point of my life? even my favorite raining season seems to be booing me. i’ve always loved the overcast skies, the rain, the trees rustling in the storm, the thunder, the lightning. these days, it only seems ominous.

i think i’m depressed

i’m scared.

really really scared. ive seen it happen before. but now its happening to me.

i’m only 19. theres no one to talk to. no one who understands my fears.

suddenly, i feel terribly, terribly lonely. like marooned somehow. its horrible

i just got a new phone!!! yes! haha. finally waited until the 12th. whew! and anyways i’m supposed to be doing my chinese literature reading and tutorial!!! oh no!!!! grrrr i think i’m gonna fail this module. sighx. i seriously hope NOT. and i need to do research for ed-psy PBL! omg! anyways i’m gonna blog first.

I SAW CHERYL!!!! haha. i was on my way to NTU for lunch, she was on her way to NIE for lunch. haha. ended we ate at NIE canteen chinese food. haha. shopped at campus book store! urh.. den had to rush for phonology lesson. and i forgot to bring the phonology textbook again lar! oh no i think i left it in my locker. oh sh*t. sigh. so long never see NJ people le. but today keep seeing NJ people. dam*Ed. i think i’d better get started on my work. i am seriously dying.

hopefully in the coming month i can get all the things that i wanna get.. for example a new handphone (asked my bro’s campmate to get me one), new bra, ROUTER, and… blah blah blah.. haha. but i need to diet. seriously. and i need to get better time management skills. as of now, I HAVE FINISHED MY INDIVIDUAL REFLECTION!!!!! i’m SO proud to announce that. it took me like.. almost 3-4 hours.. haha.. for 1000 crappy words. and i think i wrote out of point so there goes my 30% of AED105. sh*t bugger.sigh. gonna review it again later lorz. no choice. but at least i got something to hand in. may have to rewrite everything again (4th time if i do so) well, and i am SUPER behind in my readings esp. for C. lit. *deep sigh* but at least i finished my phonology worksheet. i think i like phonology =)) really. i think it’s so cool. =)) hehx.

okay here’s today:

woke up at 6am, left hse at 630am to catch the bus to school, reached boon lay at……. 730? and the queue!!! omg. haha. at least i got to sch at around 815? yeah and started freakin’ out about my IR not being done. hehx. then had 2hr c.lit *kill me cos i din prepare anything!!!* and then discussed AED105 presentation at the new student hub. quite cool la but i hope the cafe is up soon. then at least i can get my daily kopi =)) *in that air-conditioned paradise* urm.. then ed-psy! i love isabella!! haha. yeah i do. haha. i think she’s so fun! then went JE for lunch-dinner (and btw mum’s nagging me to go down to dinner) urm.. oh and went to JE library!!

okay i was checking out some educational philosophy stuff on the computer and there was this bench beside me and this couple who were supposedly “studying” chemistry. but apparently it became studying BIOLOGY after a while. biology of the girl’s lips by the guy’s lips. haha. okay fine i din see them locking lips but the guy was bending quite down lah huh.. infer infer.. and whats so stupid is that they were sitting right in front of the librarians’ desk and the librarian came over and was like: “behave yourselves in the library” wahaha. i’m SO evil. but if i were gonna distract myself from my books, it wouldn’t be in the librarians’ view *not that i do that but analogically speaking..* okay so i do think they’re dumb. kids….. pfffft!

sigh. so tired. tomorrow another long day.

urgh no router!!!!! *stabs myself* okay, Monday’s test was HORRENDOUS and if i can get like.. 20/100 i’ll be super duper very happy… but it’s 10% and the following two tests are 15% and the one that’s coming up is on LU XUN!!!! the freakish guy who writes stuff that i TOTALLY don’t understand (and i gotta study 4 texts of his) so yes. i think imma flunk that module. urgh. i’d better start working my ass off.

i’ve finally gotten started on my Individual Reflection. out of the 1000 words i’m supposed to write i have currently typed 169. =)) i still have 90% more to go. =(( and i am spending time updating my blog instead of getting it done. haha. oh yes and PBL has started! dang. no more slacking in ed-psy class.

i just got my new laptop.. =)) it’s not a new like.. new model.. but yes i believe it s fully functional and very value for money ‘cos i got EYE CANDY! who served me at the IT fair! =)) *smiles* haha. and yes, my boyfriend was with me at that time and he doesn’t feel a wee bit jealous or threatened.. i wonder why.. that guy was a real eye candy. oh and he got me a free 1GB thumbdrive (price unknown but i definitely was gonna buy one and now i can save the money) and a free carrying case (which cost S$79 and i was gonna get one anyways so i can save more money) and a free optical mouse(price unknown and i WASN’T going to get one cos NIE’s orientation gift was a very nice optical mouse but yes, now i have two .=)) ) haha. but i haven’t got a router yet.. so.. DANG! sighx. so i’m still using my poor PC to update this very long un-updated blog.

anyways, today’s meeting was…… how should i put it…… disastrous? urgh. i just don’t understand how some people can be so immature!!!!!!!! and haven’t changed since primary school. urgh. I J U S T D O N ‘ T G E T I T !!!! is it so hard to… grow up??? hmmmmm.. if i had a beard i’d be stroking it right now. but anyways i’m looking forward to some ease in the tension of the group.. and i hope the conflicts don’t start appearing like NOW already cos we’ve still got a year to go to work together. already cliques are forming very obviously and that is definitely NOT a good point. now i’ve got to try and figure out a plan…. to sorta try help things run slowly.

that apart, i have a test coming next monday (which i totally haven’t started studying for, not surprising) and an individual reflection (taking up 30% of my entire grade for that module) which i haven’t got started on, and powerpoint slides for the student-led tutorial (40% of my grades for that module) and a very long essay to write for ed-psy but isn’t due until november but very hard so i gotta get started somehow, and a very long “book review” (or rather, book CRITIQUE) which i have to do in chinese. and hand in coming month. HELP!!!!!!!!!

i am sick

seriously ill

dying

the disease is:

lack-of-time-make-myself-super-stressed-out-disease. long name huh?