anyways,
i’m still getting depressed. lol. i don’t feel like myself
im not laughing
im not smiling
that is definitely NOT me. i can laugh at everything and anything. i’m an optimistic person. WAS.
i feel weird.
i don’t even feel like smiling.
people who know me will noe its weird.
i havent laughed in a week.
i haven’t even been sarcastic.
something’s definitely wrong.
but i don’t know what.
i wish life were simpler.
hmm.. everytime i listen to this song, mi feels like crying.. dunno why oso. but the song so nice, keep replaying and replaying and replaying. and everytime think of nothing oso feel very like crying. lol. im juz a weird person. but i love the cantonese version. bt now i listening to the lee hom version. like wang lee hong is so shuai! lol. but i still prefer the cantonese version. bt im xing fu now =))
i don’t why. ive juz been feeling kinda depressed all week and it’s NOT pms. i’m sure it isn’t cos my period doesn’t come at this time and i NEVER get pms. i don’t even get cramps. sigh.
well, it all started the other night when i suddenly had a dream of my grandma. and then .. the rest of the week just flew by getting all depressed and pretending to be fine in front of all my family and friends.
suddenly i don’t know whats right whats wrong. i don’t even trust my own decisions. it NEVER happens. i am ALWAYS sure of my own decisions. i wouldn’t make them otherwise. all i just feel like doing now, is to go to bed and hug my pillow and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry. im feeling depressed. and i don’t know why.
i wish this world were simpler.
lol.. its my 98th post le.. when it comes to my 100th post i should just read back every single entry i’ve ever written… lol. and see what crap ive written. anyways, ive juz been bz SRO-ing nowadays. been trying to level up my cute little wolfie=)) she’s my puerquita =)) of cos her name isn’t puerquita la. her name is little_piggy cos im such a pig and everybody calls me PIGGy. and there’s this irritating person who always comes online and goes: SI PIGGY!! and screams at me with a stupid typo error!!! his PIGGY always becomes PIGGU. so sometimes im wondering: do pigs look like butts to him? or do butts look like pigs?? or is he just dumb?? and anyways, hes like.. SO RUDE!! scolds his bro in front of us all (who knows his bro) and curses and swears and scolds CBCB everytime he wants/likes and screams for no reason and is only 14 yrs old. what an idiot. if i were his bro, i wouldn’t think much before ripping his balls apart. bleagh. my bro agrees. =))
anyways, already signed the agreement le. before admission i still can change my mind but i don’t think i would. since i made this decision in the first place, i should and would just stick with it to the end. and ive made a very very solemn promise to myself and everyone (inclusive of my two sureties) that i WILL study hard. i WILL!!!!!!!!! it’s my one and only chance to make things right and to make my grades look better. lol. grades cant look nice without much studying going on. lol.
I WILL STUDY HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just another reiteration of my very solemn promise to myself =)) cos i can’t fail any subject =)) ANY. lol. im bored. estoy aburinda.
it’s my 97th post! lol. i was just reading shao mama’s blog. about the PW, about whitby…. lol.. really brings back memories.. i feel…………. OLD. and detached. it all seems such a long time ago now.
what i rmb about pw:
-screaming at a certain HIM
-buying itching powder from coro wid evil plans..*muahaha*(tho we nv put it into action, the plans were fun while it lasted)
-brainstorming while cursing at a certain teacher whom i shall not bother to mention who since everyone knows anyways
-getting pissed off, more pissed off, even MORE pissed off.
-hearing “MY 3-pronged approach” more times than i would ever wanna hear it.
-shooting ideas off in every direction like fireworks(tho not as pretty as i would want it to be)
-ROLLING EYES!!
-oh and going to mama’s hse to bia d last part of the project
-going through oral presentation “rehearsals”
-going through OP. which was terrible. *i forgot my lines*
what i rmb about dear don whitby:
-he was FUNNY. hilarious, in fact
-sitting in LT4 with a painful butt n trying to concentrate
-like shao, TRYING *but failing most of the time* to do olympic-lvl mental gymnastics.
-twisting my brain like i’m contorting in a circus show but to no effect. *like how sad is that*
-laughing . a lot. i mean. a LOT.
-Plum in Tomato Salad always causes purple vomit!!!!
-dead cabbages collect worms, dull inactive students always fail =))
apparently, i only remember those two sentences but was unable to totally put them to full usage. =(( maybe that explains my poor grades. thats sad.
i realised my blog only has 95 posts. and there’s 5 more posts to 100. im planning to make it a BIG affair. and anyways, i haven’t had much to do nowadays. juz slacking around and i hate my p5 tuition kid. who is a female. first time i hated female kids. i guess it’s not the kid’s fault, it’s just her mother’s fault. anyways, i read this report on readers’ digest that a “perfect childhood” for the mum is necessarily a “worst childhood” for the child.
let me explain
the more the parents want their child to have a “perfect childhood” by looking after their every need like, help them do art, help them sue/complain the teacher/don’t let them fool around and get hurt and make their own mistakes, the more the child grows up “impaired”. like lets say, he wouldn’t have so much self-confidence and becomes over-reliant such that when he grows up (or should i say IF! ever if he grows up) he wouldn’t be as independent as other kids. see
the problem is that kids now go through puberty between the ages of 8-14 (girls) and 9-15(boys) and the mums don’t let them grow up until they are like…. 30+ or sth? oh! some are even worse! they don’t let them grow up at all!
geeeeeeee. i wonder what’s the problem with all these parents now??? u can’t EXPECT me to do your child’s homework for you!! what’s your problem?!?!?! i’m a tutor, not a homework-doer if there ever is an existence of this word. i SO look forward to cancelling them which i hope will be soon, like within these two months or sth cos i’m totally going NUTS! BONKERS!! and i think her mum has like.. post-natal depression or sth. her youngest kid is like…………. at least 7 yrs old. and i think she still suffers from post-natal depression. otherwise, she just plainly suffers from depression. anyways, i’ve met the dad twice and he seems nice. i mean, i saw their wedding photos and they look so…… NICE! but nw the mum juz looks like…. a mum! you know, the kind that would berate their kid in public but still let them run amok? yeah
anyways, my arm’s feeling weird. im positive i haven’t been working out. which explains the growing amounts of fats on my body. so here’s the plan (weekly one i guess, if i can stick to it.)
swimming:
1) free-style warm up
2) fly kick (3 kicks 1 full pull)
3) fly kick (left pull, right pull, full pull, with 2 kicks in between each)
4) free-style full stroke
5) side free kick (ten kicks one pull on each side)
6) side fly kick (havent decided EXACTLY yet. juz so i don’t drown)
7) free pull (my fav!!!!)
free-style cool down
about 400m on each item would do fine, right? that is IF i stick to this . for like… 6 mths at least or sth. preferably 3x a week but that’s quite impossible so i shall just try to survive with 1x a week if i get the chance. =))
hehx
im going nuts.
thank THE MUM.
okay, all those pple who wanna ask me which school i CHOSE to go to, ASK! and if you ask, don’t bother asking weva it’s becos i didn’t get accepted into the OTHER “prestigious” school. fine? clear? get it straight in ur f*cked-up dumbas* jackas*y thick skulls!!!!!
once and for all:
1) i CHOSE to go NIE.
2) i was ACCEPTED into “that-pretigious-school” NUS.
3) if all you out there who wanna put ur maestro attitude on abt my choice, im so going to fu*k u up ur blardie as*es.
got it??!!!
one more time! juz one more time anyone asks me this question and even subtly hint a very maestro attitude!
if it’s a guy i swear i’ll rip ur balls apart
if u’re a girl i swear i’ll disfigure u forever
now.
stop pissing me off!!!!!
