doodles

the ten things to be grateful about this Christmas:

1. the ability to love and be loved
2. the ability to share
3. physical comfort
a) no lack of shelter and warmth
b) no lack of food and water
4. the ability to think logically and make decisions independently
5. the ability to be happy
6. having friends around you
7. the knowledge that you still have people to rely on when you are down
8. the ability to DREAM!
9. being so much more fortunate than any other being in the world in our own little ways

10. BEING ALIVE

and since i haven’t updated my blog for so long, (sry CJ)
here goes today:

met my friend whom i haven’t met in like… 6 months?… today on the bus. real coincidence. seems that he ain’t in the best of health. lung problems? GAWRSH! sighx.. ain’t we all real fragile? sry, but he kinda got me thinking about d philosophical issues of life. haha. budden, i really really really hope that he can take real good care of himself and .. take good care!! and realise that no matter he need it or not, no matter he wants it or not, no matter he likes it or not, there will still be people who are there for him to rely on. people whom he can trust. people whom care for him and have concern for him. real concern.

enough of the bad stuff.

jobs!!!!! they aren’t any much better, but kinda better. after trying to confront mortality.
well.. what can i say? anyone has any recommendations? *whines* sighx… busy looking for jobs these days. oh yeah. and i badly need to diet. shldn’t haf gone for the swim team outing. made me realise how FAT and absolutely HUMONGOUS and GI-NORMOUS i am.. dang!!!! well.. gotta work very very hard to get my size 23 back. but i can do it. i am going to do it. and i WILL do it. lets start from tomorrow morning. things are so much easier to keep to if you get it down in black and white. another job interview tomorrow morning. i’m really bored. and i really don’t have anything else to do. it’s 2330 hrs. i’m dead tired. gonna go bath now. dun wanna stink up my pigsty. gdnitey folks~ sry.

sighx. been feeling kinda outa sorts lately. had to get it off my chest somewhere. couldn’t think of anywhere safe bt here, since i’m crossing my fingers and hoping tt none of my family members ever find out about this site.

feeling really outa sorts. d last time had such a prolonged period of insomnia was when my paternal grandmother passed away. and it was d only time. now i’m experiencing it a second time and i don’t know why. i’m supposed to feel happy, liberated and everything after A’s. but frankly, i don’t. been having insomenia for six months almost. it’s more than i can bear. living on less than five hours per night. been bingeing as well. no appetite for meals sometimes bt binge myself totally at others. no mood for aniting. feel as tho.. my heart wants to do sth bt my body ain’t able to. (li4 bu4 chong2 xin1). tts how bad it is. sighx. feel as tho life is a complete and total disastrous cycle. see no light at the end of the tunnel and no hope. feeling kinda depressed. oh, n i missed a month of my period. it’s NEVER happened before. EVER. let me repeat. NEVER. not since i first had it in Primary 6. it’s the first time in 6 years. and THAT, is BAD. never missed it when my family was in crisis, when my grandparents passed on to the next life, at the O levels, the A levels, none at all. it’s never happened. see, i’m quite disoriented now. and confused. i know there’s something wrong. something’s buggering me. but i juz don’t know what. i just don’t! and i fu**ing hell would like to know. but i don’t! i f***ing don’t haf no bloody ideas. sorry to be cursing and swearing but i just am so lost. feeling kinda desolate n stuff.
read somewhere that “appearing more cheerful that you feel will only bring positive benefits.”
i can’t help but beg to differ.

see, when u’re in such a situation like i am in now, (it’s not like…. TOO horrible to d extent of contemplating d idea of suicide n major depression n stuff… but, it’s quite bad. haven’t felt so.. LOST and down for a really long time. and i don’t like it one bit. i hate being out of control of my life and my thinking. out of control of myself.) appearing more cheerful than i am feeling i sjust a way of escapism. and escapism never brought no one nowhere. it juz makes me feel worse inside ‘cos i’m gonna feel that i’m such a wimp or a blurdy hypocrite who can’t get in control of her life and juz puts off a facade for everyone. i hate putting on facades. i hate it. really. so down in the dumps. sighx. shldn’t depress anyone any longer. shld start looking for that SOMETHING that is making me feel this way. off to work this instant!

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor – Art Teacher – Book Editor Clothes Designer – Comedian – Composer Dancer – DJ – Graphic Designer Illustrator – Musician – Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

this, i think i agree…

Your Birthdate: November 31

You’re a pretty traditional person. If it’s lasted, it’s probably good. You seek stability – both in your career and your romantic relationship. In return, you’re very loyal and predictable. Which is usually a good thing. Without a partner, you feel lost. Being with someone is very important to you. Your strength: Your dependability Your weakness: You hate being alone Your power color: Midnight blue Your power symbol: Shell Your power month: April

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You’ve dated enough to know what you want.And that’s marriage – with the right person.You’re serious about settling down some time soon.Even if you haven’t met the person you want to get hitched to!

What’s” Your Ideal Relationship?

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You’ve dated enough to know what you want.And that’s marriage – with the right person.You’re serious about settling down some time soon.Even if you haven’t met the person you want to get hitched to!

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You’re laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don’t let it get you down.

Your Brain’s Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you’re hard to read, but that’s because you’re so internally focused. But when you do share what you’re thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You give and take equally in re lationships. You tend to get very attached when you’re with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You’re secretly hoping your partner will change for you. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren’t loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Your Personality Profile

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth. While you may not be a total hippie… You’re definitely one of the most free spirited people around. You are very impulsive – every day is a new adventure. However, you do put some thought behind all your actions. Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You’re a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren’t quite convinced. You’d make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

are they kidding? i cant even draw a pig.

anyone found a job yet? i still looking.. dang! shldn’t haf quit tt last one.. i mean, the pay was good and d location was good… and the people were nice.. but i HATE picking up phone calls (memorising some old, cliched line) and i ABHOR calling strangers as well. sighx.. i’m so hard to please rite? anyways, i borrowed books at the national library ydae.. all those no-brainer fiction books. haha. hmm… feel like taking up loads of courses leh. but i probably will die under all those unnecessary pressure rite? but i really wanna make fullestestestestest use of this hard-to-come-by holiday. i mean, i don’t really wanna spend every single day stuck in front of the tv or d com doing nothing bt watch disgusting serials or playing D2. i mean, i used to be totally head-over-heels in love with D2 lar. but not now lar. i still love that game bt not so much le i guess.. sighx. sadded. so, LOOKING FOR NICER RPG GAMES. wouldn’t mind if they include killing. bt best if they have cute pics like maplestory. =P so if u guys haf it rite, PLEASE INTRO N RECO HERE!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! im dying of boredom , as you can see. haha.. time to BLOG-SURF!!

finally prom’s over and i don’t hafta worry about much now.. d only problem is that of my cashflow. see, after u quit a job, u don’t really have cash u noe? n for prom, i regret to say tt i have used up more than i should. which means, i sucked on my savings. which means, i need to get it back SOON! as soon as possible. as things have been going, i think its only SENSIBLE to get a new job. so, i’ve juz started posting resumes again. dang! sighx. btw, prom night~

tadah!
starring:

papa as one of the twin beauties: Beautyfleur
papa’s partner as the other twin beauty: Beautyful

(p.s. jk jk lar! dun angry hor…….)

prelude :

Act 1 (in Introduction to the Beauties):

Act 2 (Santa’s elf with Beautyful):

Act 3 (angel with Beautyfleur) :

Act 4; in beauty(left) and the beast(right):

psst: u noe everything’s gonna end soon wen someone’s eyes are half closed.

yes. like this.